Discussing Literature with Older Children

By Mariah Bruehl,

Discussing Literature with Older Children

What’s your book about?

I don’t know.

Do you like it?

It’s OK.

 

If you read Jacki’s recent post, “How to Talk to Your Children about Their Day,” you know we are all very familiar with this conversation. It’s easy to talk to younger children about the books they are reading because they usually want to tell us everything that happened.  Older children can be more…economical in their responses.  Of course, they may not say much because we aren’t asking the right questions.  Outside of a classroom, when was the last time you asked someone to summarize a book for you? Ummm…never.  Where does the story take place?  What are the names of the main characters?  Is it written in first, second or third-person narration?  Older children recognize a test question, and let’s face it: no one wants to take a test over dinner.  When talking to them about the books they are reading, consider asking questions that you really want answered.  Your sincere curiosity will spark an open conversation.

 

The Book Club

If you have ever belonged to a book club, think about the discussions you’ve had about books with your peers. Sometimes a reader forgets the names of characters. When this happens, we don’t question the reader’s understanding. We usually laugh and admit times when we forget a detail. The conversation tends to focus on how we were each affected by the characters’ actions, tragedies, or transformations. We connect with the book in a deeply personal way. We may debate certain parts of the book. We don’t agree on the author’s meaning. We have different views about whether or not a character made the right decision. Consider poetry. There can be as many interpretations as there are readers in the room. We bring to our reading our unique experiences, insights, knowledge. So do our children.

 

So how do we use our book club experience to inform our conversations with our children? Ask them questions that really interest you. Here is my list:

 

What did you think about…?

This open-ended question allows the reader to say what is on his mind after reading the book. It allows for a broader, more in-depth response. I always follow up with “Why?”

Why did you choose that book?

I am curious because it helps me to make recommendations and the answer might help me in my own search for the next book to read. (Yes, I read a lot of children’s books.)

Do you agree with the character’s choices?

This question can lead to a debate where both sides must defend their answers. Another version is “What would you do?”

What did you think of the ending?

I ask this question because writing a satisfying conclusion can be difficult, and I have been disappointed on more than one occasion. I am curious about what makes a good ending in the eye of the reader. Sometimes we imagine the ending we wanted for the book we read. I want to know what my child envisioned.

What do you think is going to happen next?

Why do you think that? Admittedly, this sounds like a classroom question, but I am curious as a writer. When I read, I am always trying to figure out where the writer is going with the story. I have a vision: I am right, disappointed, or delightfully surprised.

Have you read other books by the same author?

How do they compare? Can you tell the books are by the same author? How? I love words so I notice the language a particular author uses. I notice that Kate DiCamillo talks directly to the reader. Have you ever noticed how she constructs her sentences? They are works of art, with layers upon layers of “word paint.”

Tell me about the genre.

What do you like about that genre? What do you notice is similar across books in the same genre? I ask these questions if it is a genre I don’t tend to read: science fiction and graphic novels. I ask because I am truly curious. I have a really hard time reading graphic novels because I don’t pay close enough attention to the illustrations.

 

Whatever your interests, what matters is that you really want to know the answer to the question you are asking.

 

What If I am Not a Reader?

You may not see yourself as a reader: I do not read novels or poetry; I see going to the library as a chore; I prefer to be doing something with my hands or being physically active, rather than settling into an oversized chair and reading Tolstoy.  If this sounds like you, don’t worry.  You are reading this blog so you are a reader.  The first step is to identify what you do read:

  • emails
  • blogs
  • instruction manuals
  • magazines
  • newspapers
  • professional journals
  • letters
  • memos
  • textbooks
  • Facebook or Twitter
  • cookbooks/recipes
  • nutrition labels

 

…you get the idea.

 

Identify what you truly love to read and talk about it with your children. Share your enthusiasm, curiosity, surprise. What really stuck with you? Why did you read it?    What do you really want to share with someone?  Share it with your children. They will appreciate your openness and genuine passion.

Discussing Literature with Older Children

 

Write about Reading

Finally, consider keeping a family journal and write to each other about the books you are reading. This is a great way to continue a discussion or to involve a parent whose schedule may make it difficult to always have a face-to-face conversation. Be creative. This could be a composition book that sits on the coffee table or a blog where family members add their thoughts about the books they are reading or ask each other questions.

Is there a time and a place to ask test questions? Of course. But leave that for the classroom and let your dinner conversation be just that—a conversation that is lively, engaging and meaningful.

 

Fun Ways to Build Number Sense at Home

By Mariah Bruehl,

Fun Ways to Build Number Sense at Home

Encouraging a love of numbers throughout childhood helps children to develop a strong understanding of numbers, which is often called having good number sense. Children with strong number sense have the ability to use numbers confidently, with flexibility and with place value understanding. This means a child with strong number sense understands relationships between numbers. For example, when thinking about the number four, a child might describe it as three less than seven, one less than five, three more than one and one more than three. This child will also be able to estimate quickly by seeing numbers or groups of objects as sets instead of needing to count by ones. In addition, a child will be flexible with numbers which often allows them to build their own meaningful ways for solving number equations or when problem solving. These abilities will help build children’s mathematical confidence, as they understand how numbers work and thus become quick and reflective mathematical thinkers.

 

There are many fun, engaging ways to incorporate daily number sense activities at home. The list below shows how to get started building number sense activities into your daily lives with your children. Once we open the door, children soon realize that numbers really are everywhere and armed with this knowledge most children will want to interact with numbers on a regular basis.

Fun Ways to Build Number Sense at Home

 

 Activities to Encourage Number Sense:

 

  • Guess My Number (use a hundreds chart or a number line) – Dinnertime is the perfect time to play a simple number game such as Guess My Number. To play, ask one player to choose a number within a set and comfortable (based on age) range such as 1-100. This number remains secret until someone guesses it. To start have one participant at a time take turns narrowing the range until one is able to guess the number. Questions might include: Is it greater than fifty? Is it an even number? Is it less than eighty? Is it more than twenty? The range of numbers should narrow each time until someone guesses the actual number.

 

Tip: It is very useful to use a laminated hundreds chart or number lines with young learners. This way, the guesses can be highlighted and the range can be shown as it narrows. This shows players which numbers they have left to choose from and has them interacting with a hundreds chart. You can download and print a hundreds chart here.

 

  • Hundreds Chart Riddles

To play hundreds chart riddles, have one player choose a number. This number will be kept a secret. I usually ask the child to write it down but turn it over. This way, if the child forgets he/she can have a quick look. Next, this player provides one clue at a time for other players until the number is guessed. Clues start out broad and then narrow in on the number. For example: 1. My number is two digits. 2. My number is greater than forty. 3. My number is less than sixty. 4. One of the digits of my number is an even number. 5. One of the digits of my number is two less than nine.

 

Tip: This game can also be played using a number line with preschool / kindergarten students. Number lines could be 0 through 10 or up to 20.

 

  • Go Fish with A Twist: Change up the game of “Go Fish” by asking your child to use equations or number relationships when asking for a number card. For example, instead of asking: “Do you have a ten?” your child may ask: “Do you have the answer to five plus five more?” Instead of asking: “Do you have the number 4?” Your child may ask: “Do you have three less than seven?” This way both all players are using mental math to quickly do equations and learning how numbers relate to one another.

 

Tip: For children five and under, use the cards 0 through 5 and encourage equation building with their fingers. Or simply play “Go Fish” the traditional way using number cards.

 

  • Children’s Literature: Reading picture books with children almost always leads to rich discussions. Using picture books that focus on mathematical concepts are no different. Children often want to solve the problems while reading, or discuss possibilities. Greg Tang is the author of a unique and engaging series of picture books for children that encourage them to build their estimation skills. You will find most children adore reading these and learn skills in the process. I will often share a picture for only ten seconds, close the book, and then have children share an answer with an explanation of how they estimated the amount. Such fun!

 

Tip: I’ve created a short list of books below to get you started. But there are many fabulous mathematical picture books out there waiting to be read and discussed.

 

Sense-sational Painting

By Mariah Bruehl,

Sense-sational Painting

I still remember the day I got my first pair of eyeglasses. I was in third grade and really nervous about my classmates making fun of my new accessory. But as we drove from the optometrist’s office back to school, I was also amazed that I could see the individual leaves on the trees! I had never realized that you were supposed to be able to see leaves and not just a blob of green when you looked at a tree. I have been grateful for my vision (even though it’s certainly not perfect) ever since.

October is Art Beyond Sight Awareness month—a time for museums, schools, and other community organizations to come together to raise awareness for making the arts and culture more accessible to those with no vision or low vision. It’s also a perfect time to help our children be more aware of the fact that we all experience the world in different ways and to challenge them to think more deeply about how they use their senses every day. What might you notice if you made a list of all the sounds you hear at home? Or all the smells you smell at the park?

Art-making is an especially rich opportunity to experiment with the senses, and sensory painting is one of my all-time favorite projects because of its immediate tactile qualities. Are you ready to use your senses?

Sense-sational Painting

Materials:

  • Paper
  • Puff paint
  • Tempera or acrylic paint
  • Paintbrush
  • Sensory mix-ins for the paint: salt, flour, oats, birdseed, sand, etc.
  • Blindfold

 

The challenge for your child (and you!) is to create a painting without using your sense of sight. Just like those who are blind may use the Braille alphabet to read, tactile pictures allow those with vision impairment to feel the different contours, shading, and subtleties of visual images. {For a fabulous example, check out Art & The Alphabet: A Tactile Experience by Ileana Sanchez Santiago and Rebecca McGinnis.}

 

Sense-sational Painting

 

To begin your sensory painting, use puff paint to create a raised line drawing on your paper. The puff paint is like a stand-in for your pencil, creating lines that pop off the page that you will be able to feel. As you draw, you may want to choose simple shapes or familiar objects with minimal details. Make as many pictures as you like and allow the paint to dry. Once the paint has dried, you and your child can play a quick guessing game to see how well your fingers can “read” the drawings. Select a drawing and challenge your child to use only their sense of touch (eyes closed!) to determine which picture has been drawn on the paper.

 

Sense-sational Painting

 

Now it’s time to get messy! Artists with vision impairment often depend on the texture of their materials to distinguish different colors or shades—white paint may feel thick, while black paint feels runny and slippery. Create your own tactile paint palette by mixing common kitchen ingredients into each color of paint to create unique textures for each one. For example, you can mix oats into red paint, salt into blue paint, and flour into yellow paint.

 

Sense-sational Painting

 

Put on the blindfold, and you are ready to paint! Spend a few minutes simply exploring the paint, learning the textures for each color. Can you tell which color is which using your sense of touch? Once you are comfortable with the feel of the paint, try painting one of the raised line drawings you created earlier. Younger children may enjoy finger painting, while older children might want to try using a paintbrush. Experiment with mixing new colors of paint based on touch alone. Can you make a shade of green, orange or purple based on how the paints feel when mixed?

 

Continue experimenting with your sensory paint and see where it takes you. {For a slightly different approach to sensory painting, try this idea from the Casa Maria’s blog.} Once your paintings are dry, explore them again with your sense of touch and talk with your child about what you notice. Not only will you be learning to “see” as others do, but you’ll also create some sense-sational art!

Teaching Math with Stories

By Mariah Bruehl,

Teaching Math with Stories

I was teaching my son triple digit subtraction (oh so fun) when I realized he had hit a wall. He couldn’t grasp the rules of where the numbers needed to go, the order, the borrowing, it was just a big mess of crazy. So I slowed things down and tried working with our manipulatives. That helped, but he was still having a hard time understanding the order of precedence when it comes to borrowing. I set it aside and got to thinking.

 

Our math manipulatives are color coded, so units are yellow, tens are green and hundreds red, which is pretty standard. So I made a three part presentation card out of three matching colors of card; that way, when a multiple moved out of it’s column (a ten into the units for example) it was a different color from those around it. This helped to signal that the ten needed to be converted into units so that it was the right color again.

 

The next step was to create a narrative to explain the borrowing process. My son responds really well to stories so I thought this would help. So when we came across a problem where borrowing was necessary ( 256 – 179 ) we worked through the story to explain the borrowing process. It went like this…

 

Okay, so we have these numbers:

256

179

 

So the bottom number is the one we are subtracting, so the first number is 6-9, can we do that? (No) Okay, so 6 needs to knock on next door (Hello! Please can you help me I need some more numbers!) and next door sends over a ten (Of course, I’ll come on over). But when 10 arrives she is a different color from the others, that won’t do at all (Oh I’m so embarrassed!) so we change her into units, now we have 16 instead of 6.

Teaching Math with Stories

 

The same applies when we need to subtract 7 from 5, we go knocking on the door of the hundreds column and ask for help (We need more numbers over here!) over comes the blue hundreds into the green tens column. Again, we convert 100 into 10 tens and now we have 15 from which to subtract 7. Much better.

Teaching Math with Stories

 

By converting the maths problem into a story my son was able to find a rhythm to the numbers that had not been there previously. Adding in silly voices, colors and conversation took away the scariness and made it fun and familiar. Even now he still talks about ‘knocking on the door’ when borrowing a number, for him that helps a seemingly mysterious process make sense.

 

I’ve tried to include lots of math stories in our work to bring it to life, and I’m always on the lookout for more. There are lots of great resources that help children see maths as a living subject, rather than a dusty collection of strange numbers. Here are a few I’ve enjoyed using or am looking forward to including soon:

  • The Sir Cumference series brings all sorts of mathematical concepts to life through the stories of a mathematical knight and his family. A fun read and a lovely way to engage children with concepts like angles, which can seem a bit complex.

 

  • The author Greg Tang has written many books that cover mathematical ideas from basic numeracy to discovering math in art. They are lively books and suitable for younger children too.

 

  • Mathematicians are People Too, is our current math reader and we are already enjoying it enormously. This book (and its sequel) brings the lives of great mathematicians to life through lively recollections of key moments in their history. My son is a real history lover so this one is a great hit. We’ll be reading Volume 2 when this one is done!

 

  • And on our ‘to read’ list for this year is The Adventures of Penrose the Mathematical Cat, an engaging series recommended to me by my very mathematically inclined friend! The stories cover some pretty complex concepts, but they are engaging and lively nonetheless. This is the first in a series I hope to explore further.

Teaching Math with Stories

If you are looking for further information on including stories in your maths teaching, the Living Math website is a fantastic resource with an extensive reading list and other suggestions about how to bring a much maligned subject happily to life for the young mathematician in your life.

Selecting Just Right Books for Your Reader at Home

By Mariah Bruehl,

Selecting Just Right Books for Your Reader at Home

As a parent, it’s important that you know how to help your young reader self-select books outside of the classroom. Like any other skill, knowing how to choose the right books takes practice. The more she practices this skill, the more likely she will be able to make good reading choices on her own.

First and foremost, a reader needs to know her strengths and what kinds of books she feels most comfortable reading. Books which are too easy for your reader will not empower her to practice new skills. Similarly, books which are too challenging will only cause her frustration. This is often referred to as the Goldilocks Principle – finding a book that is just right as opposed to one on either extreme. A just right book allows your reader to independently practice and effectively apply the reading strategies she is learning.

Learning how to self-select a just right book is a skill that needs to be nurtured and practiced.   Here are 4 things that you can do at home to help your reader self-select a just right book.

1. Try the 5 Finger Rule. This is quite simple. Open up the book to any page. As she reads, ask her to hold up one finger for each tricky word on the page. A tricky word will be one that she has trouble decoding or is unsure of the meaning. Encourage her to be honest with herself through this process. The results will usually go something like this:

0-1 tricky word – too easy

2-4 tricky words – just right

5 or more tricky words – too challenging

This is certainly not a strategy that will work for every reader, but if she has self-selected a book that is too challenging the 5 finger rule will wave a red flag that she needs to try a different book. Save challenging books for a family read aloud or have her set a goal to read it independently by the end of the school year. If the book is too easy, use it as a “warm up” to practice fluency or have her share it with a younger sibling. Your reader needs to know that it’s OK to read books on either extreme (they aren’t off limits by any means), but just right books are the ones that will help her grow as a reader.

Selecting Just Right Books for Your Reader at Home

2. Focus on comprehension not just decoding. The purpose of reading is to make meaning. Just because your reader is good at decoding words (word solving) does not mean she understands what she’s reading. Have you ever read part of a book, then stopped and said to yourself I haven’t the slightest clue what I just read? As experienced readers, we know to go back and re-read the passage again. That’s not always true for young readers. She might get to the end of a chapter, and unless someone says to her Tell me about what you’ve just read, she doesn’t even realize that she’s read 15 pages and doesn’t know what is happening in the story. Word solving does not equal comprehension.  So being able to decode all of the words does not necessarily mean she’s selected a just right book.

3. Talk about age appropriate books. This may seem obvious, but believe me it’s not. Reading is a highly social activity. Many readers at this age want to carry around the newest book (because there’s a huge wait list at the library), the fattest book (because obviously the number of pages is directly proportional to the kind of reader you are), or the book that her middle school aged sister is reading (because it’s about middle school… duh). This often means that in the process, she will have a book in her hand that is not age appropriate. A good rule of thumb in selecting a just right book is if the main character is 2-3 years older than your reader, know that there may be mature themes and content that your youngster is just not ready to deal with yet (romance, death, puberty and other complex issues).   If your child hasn’t had similar life experiences, how on earth is she going to identify with a character’s actions and motives?

If after much argument and eye rolling she still insists on selecting a book that is beyond her life experience, consider reading it together and talking about themes that may be too difficult for her to comprehend independently. If possible, preview the book beforehand so you know what you’re getting yourself into!

4. Try not to talk too much about “levels.” This only confuses your reader. When you tell her she’s reading at a 6th grade level it gives her the false impression that she can read anything a 6th grader can read which may not be the case (you read #2 and #3, right?).   Levels also put too much pressure on your reader, and it forces comparisons with others (which let’s face it, she is doing already so why add to that?).

As adults, we certainly don’t brag about our reading levels.

This month’s book club book was way too easy for me. I went into the bookstore yesterday, and I couldn’t even find anything at my reading level. I really think I should be reading something harder.

It sounds ridiculous, right? Yet that’s exactly how young readers talk to one another in the classroom when adults place too much emphasis on reading levels. Yes, we want our readers to be able to select and read grade level material. Yes, a reading level is often written on her report card. And yes, that’s usually the first part of the report card that your eyes scan for first. You want to know if your child is reading on grade level. However, we can talk about grade level expectations without labeling your reader as a number or letter. Believe me, if I could leave out reading levels on my report cards and instead just focus on a reader’s interests and abilities, I would be one happy teacher. Unfortunately, that’s not the reality in this day of standards and high stakes testing. However, my classroom readers know that they will not hear me talking about levels nor are any of my books sorted or categorized by letters and numbers. Instead we talk about choosing just right books based on our interests, our life experiences, the genres we prefer, authors and series we adore, and those which will generally help strengthen our reading skills.

Selecting Just Right Books for Your Reader at Home

As you’re helping your reader learn to self-select just right books at home, remember that the ultimate goal is to foster a love of reading. We want reading to become a welcome habit not a necessary chore. The more you help her learn how to independently choose books that are a good fit for her, and appeal to her interests and abilities, the stronger of a reader she will become.

What other things do you do at home to help your reader self-select books?

Author Focus: David Mackintosh

By Mariah Bruehl,

Author Focus: David Mackintosh

David Mackintosh is a delight. His style and color palette are just perfect. It is bold and graphic with fine details and there is always something interesting to draw the eye. We own all of David’s Author/Illustrator creations and adore their very specific humor. David Mackintosh is very clever in his approach to writing for children and he shares his craft so beautifully.

His titles have been long and short listed for numerous prestigious awards. He was won the Please Touch Museum Illustration Award in 2011 and the Hampshire Illustrated Book Award in 2012. I am certain that more accolades are to follow.

When sharing David’s books with my boys, I often post a few questions:

What can you see? What do you wonder? What does this remind you of?

By sharing a few quick questions, children tune in their brains to think about the text and going back into their memories to see if any connections can be made.

David’s books are listed below:

The boy and I are anticipating the soon to be released What’s Up Mumu? I am certain it will be as delightful as the other titles.

As a special treat, David has created an illustration just for Playful Learning! Thank you David, what an honor!

Author Focus: David Mackintosh(not for publication/reproduction)

 

 

How to Talk to Your Children About Their Day

By Mariah Bruehl,

How to Talk with Your Children About Thier Day...

“What did you do in school today?”

“Nothing.”

“How was your day?”

“Fine.”

It can be a challenge to get many children to say more about their day than these common refrains.  This handy little list may help you dig a little bit deeper with your child and discover more about their time away from you.

 

How to Talk to Your Children About Their Day

 

 

  1. WAIT: At the end of a long day it can be challenging, even for an adult, to process, synthesize, and express how their day went.  Right after school many children are focused on their empty stomachs and what adventures they want to get into during their free time. However, given time many children will have more to say than just, “Nothing or fine.”  Try incorporating a discussion about your child’s day into his or her bedtime routine.  In our house we wait until we are comfortable and snuggled into bed with a good book to ask, “What was the best part of your day?”  It is amazing how ready our seven year old is to talk.
  2. BE SPECIFIC: Instead of asking your child about their whole day, which can be daunting to summarize, ask specific questions.  It may help to keep a copy of their schedule handy at home so you can ask questions such as, “What materials did you use in art class today?,” “Did your music teacher have you sing that funny song again?  How does it go?,” or “What new words did you learn in Spanish today?”
  3. REMEMBER THE SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL: While it is easy to focus on the academic aspects of a school day it is important to keep in mind that if your child’s social, emotional, and physical worlds are in balance then they will be more able to access the scholastic side of the school day.  You may want to occasionally ask specific questions about friendships, feelings, and play.  Some questions may be “Who did you play with a recess today?,” “What was the snack choice at school today?,” “How are the monkey bars going?  Have you been able to skip a bar yet, I know you were working on that?”
  4.  IF ALL ELSE FAILS, MAKE THEM LAUGH:  Occasionally when children are very tight lipped about their day it can help to make them laugh about it.  Make up a silly scenario such as, “I heard that in Physical Education Mr. So-and-So made you stand on your heads while singing the hokey-pokey today.”  Many children will give you an immediate, “No he didn’t!!  We played lacrosse and I shot two goals.” This cannot be used all the time, or your child will catch on, but it does work occasionally.
  5.  LISTEN: Finally, if you ask your child a question, be prepared to actively listen.  Put down anything else you might be doing and give them your undivided focus.  Ask questions only after they finish their stories, no matter how long or complicated they may be.  Your attention will demonstrate to your child how important their days, their joys, and their worries really are.

 

Praising Children: Evaluative vs. Descriptive

By Mariah Bruehl,

Praising Children...

“Good job!” “What a wonderful story!” “Your painting is beautiful!” Sound familiar? If you are like me, you have used these words to encourage children, hoping they will feel good about themselves, their work, and their efforts. Our intentions are good but what if the affect is not what we intended? What if our words leave children wondering—or even worrying—about all the times when they didn’t do a good job, or wrote a mediocre story or tore the paper when they were painting? What happens next time when we aren’t there to bestow our blessing on their work? It is not our approval, evaluation or critique of a child’s work that matters. Children need to make their own conclusions and our comments should merely help inform that self-assessment.

 

Dr. Haim Ginott (author of Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers), famously wrote about how to communicate with children. If you are not familiar with his work, you can watch video footage of him in interviews on YouTube. He is entertaining, and his deep respect for children is very apparent. One of the topics he addressed was praise. (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, authors of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, continue the discussion.) While Dr. Ginott describes various subtleties in how we talk to children, the most important message is to replace evaluative praise with descriptive praise.

 

What Is Evaluative Praise?

When we judge what we see instead of describing it, we are providing evaluative praise (e.g., good, best, perfect, beautiful, great). When we attach a character trait to a child, instead of describing what they did, we are providing evaluative praise (e.g., honest, smart, generous, helpful, hardworking). According to Dr. Ginott evaluative praise creates dependence. The child looks to the person giving the praise to determine his self-worth.

 

What is Descriptive Praise?

Instead of judging what we see, we can simply describe what we see the child has done (e.g., mixed red and yellow to make orange, played a piece of music with crescendos in just the right places, wrote a story that helps the reader feel what the character is feeling). Descriptive praise is very specific and comes from thoughtful observation.   Instead of describing an action we could describe what the child might be feeling. “You hung up your jacket all by yourself, and last month you couldn’t reach the hook. You look really pleased with yourself.” Let the child evaluate his or her own actions.

Praising Children: Evaluative vs. Descriptive

 

Some More Examples

When my daughter practices her violin, it is tempting to just say, “It sounds beautiful,” but instead I really listen to her playing and I tell her I notice the way she subtly draws out just the right notes with her bow, creating a certain mood. Or when she shares her latest piece of writing, I notice her strong, unique voice in the characters she creates and the way she talks to the reader. When my 3-year-old son finishes a puzzle, I acknowledge how he feels (based on his expression): “You did that puzzle all by yourself. You must be so pleased.” When he makes up a song on his Ukulele, I notice the instrumental introduction, the way he keeps a steady beat, how he changes things up by clapping or plucking the strings instead of strumming. (His lyrics consisted mostly of bathroom words, but never mind.) You get the idea.

 

Suggestions to Make Praise More Descriptive

 

  • Be specific. Throw out the list of character traits for labeling behavior and simply describe what you observe. “You put all the trucks on the shelves where they belong. Now you’ll know right where to find them next time.”
  • Show appreciation. Name exactly what the child did and how it helps you. “Thank you for setting the table tonight. Now I have more time to read books with you.”
  • Leave out “you.” Use “I” statements or focus on the action, but not the person. “The paint spilled on the table. Here’s a towel.” Or reword the praise above: “The trucks were put back on the shelves where they belong. They will be easy to find next time.”
  • Ask more questions. Instead of praise, ask questions. “How did you make that?” “How did you decide what to paint?” “What do you like about… (the materials used or the product)?”
  • What would I say to Shakespeare? Ginott describes how adults speak differently to other adults. If we met Shakespeare we would not say, “Wow! Great job. You used your sparkle words.” We might comment on our favorite passage or marvel at his play on words.
  • Be observant. In order to change how we praise children, we need to really look and listen. It requires more time and more attention to detail.
  • Take some advice from Lilly (of Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse fame) and just say, “Wow” because sometimes that’s all you can say. And beam.

 

Is it easy? No. Do my children want to hear how great they are? Of course. But as fabulous as they may be in my eye, ultimately they need to know their own worth.

 

 

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Raising Confident + Natural Girls: 10 Ways to Cultivate Confidence

By Mariah Bruehl,

Raising Confident Girls...I think we all want to raise confident girls who can successfully navigate their way though life. While my girls are still fairly young, I’ve come to realize that the building blocks of their future are already being put to use, and now is the time to consider the ways in which I can help them to be healthy and confident, not later. I know this topic is vast and cannot be summed up in ten easy points, I would love to start a discussion that allows this topic to be explored more, so please feel free to comment below. I also believe that while different, most of these points can be applied to boys as well…

  • Build a healthy body image. Focus on health and well-being, both in and out. Teaching our kids to gently care for themselves and their health will give them a huge advantage in life. Check out Monique’s previous post in this series for a fun and natural approach to skincare for pre-teens and teens. Many images bombard our senses, most are unrealistic with a narrow idea of beauty. Broaden the definition of beauty by talking about the dangers of comparison and celebrating all different types of beauty, shapes and sizes often.
  • Encourage an adventurous spirit. Focus on discovering new places and things, engaging the mind, and pursuing interests and new ideas. Possessing a sense of wonder is a lifelong joy that will far exceed the pursuit of outward beauty, and will help her define who she is.
  • Let her steer the ship (when possible). Often we have preconceived notions about our children, but allow her to choose the activities she wants to pursue and follow her lead. Strengths and weaknesses will emerge along the way (maybe not the ones you expected!) Praise the strengths and gently encourage her in the weaknesses. Allow her to voice her opinion and to make choices when possible.
  • Teach her to speak up. Talk to your daughter about standing up for herself and her needs. Teach her it’s okay to speak up, even to adults or those in authority, if she feels something is not right or if she doesn’t like how she is being treated.
  • Seek out worthy role models. Build a list of role models, whether it be historical figures, leaders in your community, or characters in books. Take the time to talk about and emphasize women who embody healthy confidence whenever you come across them.
  • Be the model yourself. As parents and caregivers, the way we speak of ourselves and about others is perhaps the most important thing when it comes to the confidence of our children. The confidence and calm that we possess when dealing with life’s decisions and problems can be a great example, especially our reaction to mistakes and inadequacies, both the ones we make and have and the ones of our children. Grace and encouragement go a long way.
  • Teach her about self-reflection. Talking about a decision before we make it, asking ourselves questions and reflecting on events that have already occurred, all give us the tools to understand our world and ourselves a little better, and give us a greater measure of confidence. Journaling or talking to a friend or parent are good ways to do this. Wisdom and confidence grow as children begin to learn to trust themselves. Practicing gentle self-reflection out loud in front of your children when making a decision or when you have made a mistake will promote honesty and humility, as well as freeing your child to   admit  when they have fallen short themselves, and knowing that it’s okay. Growth and understanding are the goals, not perfection.
  • Promote kindness. Kindness will always be beautiful. Shifting the focus from ourselves to others can open up our world and expand our minds. Purposely learning to love others will bring us joy and grow a humble love and respect for ourselves within the process. Modeling this for our children, as well as providing them with significant opportunities to put this into practice can have a huge impact.
  • Give better compliments.  Children can detect flattery or false praise, so use specific examples and sincerity when complimenting them. Compliment your child on their whole self, not just outward looks, talents, and results.
  • Allow her to fail. There is a time to teach and a time to lend a hand, but allowing your child enough space to succeed or fail on their own is crucial. By doing so, you allow them to experience the full joy of succeeding or to learn the full lesson of the consequences of failing and trying again. Both outcomes have powerful learning experiences attached.

 

Raising Confident + Natural Girls: 10 Ways to Cultivate Confidence

To download a copy of this quote to print, go here.

 

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Author Focus: Jon Klassen

By Mariah Bruehl,

Author Focus: Jon Klassen

Rebecca from Thirteen Red Shoes is with us today to share some inspiring insights and book recommendations from the great author, Jon Klassen.

 

Along with Oliver Jeffers, who I highlighted in my previous post, I believe Jon Klassen to be a modern day classic author/illustrator.

Jon Klassen, who grew up in Niagara Falls, Canada and now resides in Los Angeles California, is an illustrator with a very distinct style and use of color, which I find so very appealing.  He has also recently become an author in his own right, publishing I Want My Hat Back and This Is Not My Hat, both stories about the unfortunate thievery of a hat!

 

Below is a little clip of Jon describing his movement from being an illustrator to an author illustrator.

Author and Illustrator Jon Klassen discusses picture books from Candlewick Press on Vimeo.

 

These books are perfect for open ended challenges and testing the notion of multimodal texts, whereby the illustrations and the text are both required in order to make meaning. Jon Klassen’s books require a lot of thought from a child’s perspective in order to gather the inferred meaning.

 

His two books in which he is the author illustrator have endings which might seem a little harsh, so be sure to read yourself prior to reading aloud to children. Reading aloud to children is an art form, so practice before hand and have a good understanding of the book before presenting it to your children or class.  This makes the experience much more rewarding for all involved and allows for a deeper discussion and the possibility to open up new discussion points, and new provocations which may lead to interesting research and findings.

 

I Want My Hat Back is such a delightful tale. The clever use of eye placement creates the significant connection between text and illustrations in which the whole story is based.  The emotions, and therefore, the storyline of the tiny fish and the large fish are told in these minute changes.  He truly is masterful.

 

Jon’s titles both as an illustrator and an author can be found below:

 

Interview with Jon Klassen and his Candlewick publisher Liz Bicknell